One of the most challenging times for graduating high schoolers is juggling their college application and maintaining a balance in their conversation with their friends who could be potential competitors. Having spent considerable time with your classmates in the growing-up years, you are confronted with a situation—the crossroads of the application process.
During college discussions, you may find yourself in a difficult situation, not knowing what and how much to share. In this blog, we will discuss how to approach admission-related conversations with your friends without spoiling your relationship with them.
What makes college discussions with friends stressful?
Increased Competitiveness: Understandably, your friends might be applying to a few colleges you have chosen for yourself. This leads you to keep comparing yourself with them in terms of their grades, profiles, and standardized scores, instilling fear in you of being the one who might not be good enough. When filling out your application, know that you are putting forward your strengths and showcasing the activities in the best possible manner. Let this not increase your stress and anxiety.
Anxiety due to uncertainty: Your school is not equipped to give you a clear picture of your chances of admission to a particular college visit. They too have no clear indicator. Relying on statistics of past admits, your school can at best guide you to put your best application forward. There is uncertainty among students if they would be considered a good fit for the colleges they are applying to. Remember that you and all your friends are in the same boat, and no one has more information than you. Let this uncertainty not affect your relationship with your friends.
Varying goals and college choices: You and your friends would have discussed the long-term goals you nurture and how you will achieve them. Some might be applying to specific courses defining their career aspirations, while others might be undecided and applying to an easy major to get into. Remember that every student has an application strategy, and you too must have yours. Once you are confident of the decisions you have taken after due consideration and discussion with your college counselor, let these differences not irk you.
How to balance friendship during the application season
- Create your support group: If all your friends are targeting one country, remember that they will be your support system in a new country. Hence, it is best to enjoy this process and celebrate each other’s small and big wins. It is important to set some boundaries at the very outset and mutually decide the type of conversations you are uncomfortable with.
- Do not give unsolicited advice. You may be working with a private counselor while some of your friends are not. You are getting feedback on your profile. As we said earlier, your journey is unique to you. Do not make these a part of your recess time discussions and lose your appetite over it. Be mindful of what you say.
- Do not discuss your LORS. Your brag sheet is for the teachers and not for your friends. Avoid discussing the details. Your peers know you well enough, and you do not need to boast in front of them. Each student’s brag sheet will showcase their personality. You all would have done common activities, but each one has a perspective of what their learning opportunities outcome has been through that.
- Do not discuss your essays. Avoid reading your friends’ essays or sharing content of yours. You would not like to be told that your essay has some missing elements that should be added. This spells DOOM! Everyone has a way to approach and tell their story. Respect diversity and do not be swayed by a nonexistent formula for a perfect essay.
It is important to make college discussions healthy.
- Be empathetic and mindful of your language and tone when talking about college choices. Remember, your choice is not better than the other person, and vice versa.
- Attend the knowledge sessions that are organized by your school and ask pertinent questions. Let your friends gain from your questions, and in turn, you too will learn from theirs.
Conclusion
Once the applications are submitted, enjoy the last few months with your friends. This would be the last task that you all will be facing as a class. It’s the culmination of the years you have spent preparing for this. Celebrate the success of each one having submitted their applications. Make plans for how you want to keep the spirit of friendship alive in today’s fast-paced life. Remember, there is a college for everybody. What you make of it is up to you.
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